I havent been this low since freshman year.

I'm not trying to lose weight.. its just happening.

I have fluctuated so much, 4 pounds up one day, 8 down the next. it doesnt really make sense.

But hey, I'll take it.

I have a new boyfriend.. he is so incredibly amazing. I dont deserve him.

We are talking about summer right now.. and going swimming.....

yay... swim suits.

I have to be at most 115 by summer. I HAVE TO.

So I got one of the leads in the new play. And I’ve kind of stopped eating.

I don’t know what it is, but its not even conscious. I just don’t eat. And when I do, it’s very little.

I think my subconscious is telling me I need to lose weight so I can wear a cute costume. Instead of a fat dead grandmas dress I could wear a spicy sexy hip hugging hot number.

And also.. I have a new boyfriend. I think he likes my body.. but I’m sure he’d rather me be thinner.

I’m not losing weight for him, but just so I can feel more comfortable with him.

It’s interesting when you don’t have to motivate yourself and something like this just... happens.

Also, I don’t have batteries in my scale and I haven’t for weeks. Who knows what I weigh now.

OH! Thanksgiving, I ate less than my two year old cousin. It’s easy not to stuff yourself when you’re a vegetarian at a meat-based holiday.

Most perfect body I will never have.

UPDATE

I weigh 130 pounds! That means I have lost any where from 3-9 pounds.

I havent seen 130 on that scale in forever. whew :]

  I'm so done with being fat. By this time next year, I'll be who I want to be. I'll be WHAT I want to be. No exeption. I'm going to keep track of every calorie I consume for the next year. I'm going to fast the first week. Starting today.

Wish me luck, join me?